this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
