Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize