For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Randomize