Non-Jews are for practice
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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