return my video game
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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