I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
