Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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