im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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