she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
