i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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