not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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