All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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