Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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