I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize