We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
