She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
