the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize