We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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