Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
