okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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