I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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