You really coming over, don't trick.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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