You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
