You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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