I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need a burrito and a hug.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
