Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
