so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
