How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
