names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just puked most of my soul out..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize