Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
