kristin has been a bad kristin
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So vagazzling was a success
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
