It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Every concussion has its silver lining
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
