I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
