So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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