everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
