im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
