is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
