And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
