she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
