hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he wants to bone in the snuggie
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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