HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
