im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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