Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
