I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize