She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
