Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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