Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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