No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
