Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
