The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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