Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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