apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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