just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
