You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
