There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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