I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize