I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
