it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Princesses don't give blow jobs
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
