i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
