Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
