Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
