Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
