I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize