She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
